Connections

BOO At The ZOO!

 

Clio as Princess Belle for the Halloween Party at the Zoo

Saturday morning before the Rockies game we took Clio to the annual Boo at the Zoo, where sponsoring companies provide treats as the children go through the zoo.  Many of the animals are kept outside all the time so that photos are readily available. 

I took a lot of really good animal photos but I must confess that the costumes on children and adults were what drew my attention most.  Below are some favorites

I'm sure the little guy in the photo below had no idea who he was dressed as, but all the adults knew and had a little chuckle.

After Elvis came my favorites, triplets dressed as Tigger, Eyore and Piglet.  I thought it a pretty innovative way for the parents to manage three toddlers.  I wish I'd had a little train like that when my 3 were young.

How I spent Summer '07

Obviously not blogging.!  We were fortunate to have all five grandkids within hugging distance for 8 days in July.  It was exhilarating, exhausting and of course heart-warming. I couldn't get enough of my Wisconsin three in just 8 days.  The rest of the summer has been spent volunteering every Friday and some unscheduled days at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science and also trying to spend quality time with husband, friends, and grandkids.  I remember not having any family nearby to help when we needed some time off as parents so we try to give Date-Night babysitting to our local sons and daughters-in-law every so often. To See the grandkids, go to the grandkid photo album on the left side of this blog.

Since August, through a series of timing events and an unexpected death,  we have a delightful houseguest/friend who is waiting for her newly purchased house to close.   She has been no problem--in fact, she is now adopted family--but we have so much fun eating outside and having long conversations during and after the meal that some "to-do's" just never get done--also some things like blogging seem to slip through the cracks of time.  The three of us have so much in common that we often talk into the wee hours of the night.

I have saved some fantastic photos that I haven't had time to post, so now that September is here, I may do some  catching up. 

Just to give a visual boost to this post, here is a favorite place in downtown Denver that we visited recently.

Confluence Park where S.Platte (l) joins Cherry Creek (r).

NoDak Prairie Sky

Prairie and sky with low arc of the noon sun in northern winters

This was the scene for one hour as we left my husband's North Dakota home town the day after his brother's funeral. As we drove to the Fargo airport we were quiet, subdued by the sudden heart attack of a vibrant 67-year old man and the outpouring of community love during the funeral rituals of the previous three days.  Somehow the scene was appropriate for mourning and moving on with the possibilities remaining even while recognizing the stark empty place in our lives and those of his wife, daughters and grandchildren.

Grandma Time!

Haidyn, Preston and Caitlin--ages 5, 23 months and 6 weeks

For the first time in over a year we have been able to love and cuddle all of our grandchildren in the same week--the above three in Wisconsin and the other two back home. The older two are much harder to catch being still.  This posed shot of all three is the only one that wasn't a blur of activity.

This year we added the little girl, Caitlin, above and the little guy, Ethan,  below.  Excuse me while I blatantly post their photos for distant relatives and friends.

Ethan, 7 weeks

href="http://debtorby.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/clio_crp.jpg">

Clio, age 2

The joy of serving as witness and enabler as these young minds and bodies discover their world is beyond description.  A hug from any of them is enough to melt the gloomiest outlook.  Suddenly, leaving a clean, inclusive and peaceful world for them has even more importance in my life.

42 years!!!

Champagne sent by hotel as part of "Romance" package

At 4:00 a.m. on July 11 we left home to catch the earliest flight to Cincinnati where we would stay over one night to celebrate our 42nd Anniversary.  Bob had made the reservations and told them it was our anniversary.  When we arrived they upgraded us to a suite on the 23rd floor with a view of the city and the Ohio River. 

The hotel was spectacular.  The Hilton Netherlands Plaza Cincinnati is filled with rich dark wood, marble walls, sculpted molding and hundreds of art deco light fixtures.  I'll post photos of the hotel tomorrow.  Although it was raining steadily all afternoon we took the TANK (Transit Authority of Northern Kentucky) bus across historic bridges to arrive at a riverside restaurant, aquarium and theater district in Newport Kentucky.  The rain was not a problem as we had rain gear but it did give a wonderfully ethereal glaze to all my photos.

Our afternoon was spent in discovering downtown Cincinnati and Newport and choosing a restaurant for our Anniversary meal. The rain had let up enough that we walked back from Kentucky to Ohio over one of the five bridges within view. We arrived back at the hotel in time to enjoy a Champagne toast at 5:00 p.m.  We spent time reminiscing and laughing at the things we thought--at the time of our marriage--would be either problems or highlights and the reality which occurred over these many years.  We shared our amazement at the fact that we still are best friends and deeply in love.

About 7:00 p.m. we TANKed across the river again to Mitchell's Fish House for a marvelous dinner and unhurried conversation then  walked back across the river while I tried to see just what the bells and whistles on my new camera would do.  I got some amazing sunset and paddle-wheeler shots.

We arrived back in time to finish off the still-cold but a little less bubbly champagne and prepare for another day of travel which began at 6:30 the next morning with the room-service breakfast as part of the "package." 

I saved the cork, marked it 7-11-06 "42 years" and took the "after" photo below.

First outing!

Family gathering for a Father's Day Concert in City Park!

Yesterday the local branch of our family tree gathered first at our house for a barbecue and then at City Park to join 5000 others in listening to Hazel Miller and her band.  It was Clio's first concert and baby Ethan's first time out of the house other than visiting the pediatrician.  We were joined by good friends and traveling buddies Dave and Paula.  On this rare occasion Bob was photographer and I got to be in the photo. 

Yesterday we celebrated three fathers and three birthdays within this small group.  It was a great day!

Sweet Caitlin

And now we have 5 grandchildren:  Three boys, two girls.  The latest made her entrance at 5:35 this morning.  She weighed in at 8 pounds 4 ounces and was 19.25 inches tall.  Here is a photo of her just a few hours old.

And with Mom

Sweet Ethan

Our fourth grandchild arrived May 27 at 7:51 p.m.

He is our third grandson but the first born in our city.  We were honored to be invited to be in the family birthing room to share in his arrival.  He is 19 and 1/4 inches long and weighed in at 6 pounds 12 ounces. 

Ethan's father is an identical twin and the other twin's wife will deliver our second grand-daughter tomorrow.  They will be cousins born 3 days apart.  I will also post our new grand-daughter's photo here when she arrives. After her arrival we will have three grandsons and 2 grand-daughters.

(Update)  More photos--Ethan day 2 and news of grand-daughter:  The plan to induce tomorrow has been changed.  They are now in the hospital with strong contractions.

Mom

Dad

Re-connecting!

With our friends, Paula, Josep and Angeles.

Last week we reconnected with dear friends from Seo de Urgel, Spain near the border of the principality of Andorra, 200 kilometers from Barcelona. Their daughter Marta lived with us for almost a year.  During this time Marta introduced us to Gisela from Brazil, who would several years later, become our daughter-in-law and Shanita from South Africa who lived with us for a while. Marta also arranged for my friend Paula and I, when we "went to Barcelona to write" in 2000, to be guests of her sister, Xell, in Barcelona and her parents in Seo de Urgel.  While Marta was in our house, her mother came to visit and stay with us for two weeks. When Xell came to the US to study English she stayed with Paula and her husband. Later, after Marta had married a Colombian-American and made her home here, her parents and Josep's sister stayed with us for two weeks.  This time they came to celebrate their daughter's birthday and we joined them for the combination birthday/Superbowl party last Sunday.  It was a celebration not only of birthdays but also of travel, cultural diversity and multilingualism.  People from Spain, Taiwan, Colombia, Brazil and South Africa joined the fun.  All were bilingual and many were multilingual.

We were able to see all four of the young women who had stayed in our house during the same period. The two who are not married are here studying at universities on student visas.  It was good to see and catch up with the lives of all of them.

I am constantly amazed at the cultural connections that are common today.  I remember when, 25-years ago, we hosted a man from Hong Kong.  My then 11 and 13-year-old sons bonded very strongly with him, crying when he left and saying,  "I hate this hosting program.  We'll never see him again."  Of course they did see him again ten years later in Denver.  Then more recently our oldest son and his wife visited in his home in Hong Kong when they traveled to China to bring home their adopted daughter.  None of us imagined what a truly "connected" world we would come to know--and value..

Where there's music...

...add one or more Brazilians and there will be dancing.

We spent our Thanksgiving holidays in the company of 24 related persons, many of whom had not seen each other for over 30 years and some of whom had never met.  In the photo above, my daughter-in-law from Brazil is teaching Emily to do the Forro (pronounced Fo ho), a dance from Northeast Brazil. A part of Lake Conchas, near Tucumcari New Mexico, is visible.  We all stayed in various lake houses as guests of long-time friends of my aunt and uncle.  Their son now owns their house and we used it as the "meeting place" but slept at the other houses or in one case a travel trailer.  We all brought a lot of food, a lot of stories and a lot of love.  We made new friends of cousins we'd lost contact with and are planning how and when to get together again.  We played games and listened to keyboard music played by the newest member of the family--Vivion, my dad's wife of one week today.  It was a great Thanksgiving reunion. 

Preparing for the feast in the Potter Lake House.

My three grandchildren

Our four-year-old grandson on his bicycle

In September we spent some quality time with our two grandsons in Wisconsin.  We are constantly amazed at H who has taken to technology with great enthusiasm.  He has his own computer which is a rebuilt older model which contains pre-school games and kid programs which teach shapes, colors, letters and other pre-kindergarden concepts.  I watch in amazement as his face lights up with wonder at the possibilities each day brings.

Our second grandson, P,  celebrated his first birthday while we visited and we enjoyed watching him devour his "personal" first birthday cake with much enthusiasm.  He idolizes his big brother but has his own special way of approaching the world.  Already he seems more self-contained and quietly observant.  It will be interesting to see how each developes in coming years.

Four years ago we had no grandchildren.  Now we have three with two more on the way. I must say I love being a grandma although I wish I could see my two long-distance grandsons more often.

  For now I must be content to spoil my local granddaughter pictured here in her sunny yellow hat.  We have a play-date with her every Monday afternoon for three hours. At fifteen months she runs everywhere and is rapidly adding words to her vocabulary.  Her latest word is: eyebrow.

I don't often devote space to these sweeties but it is a way to share photos with extended family--so here are my heart's treasures.  Who knew grandparenting could be so rewarding?

Bye Bye Bronco

Our 1990 Bronco II on its way to Cars For Charity

Although this car has not been technically ours since July of 2001 when we gave it to S, our Japanese house guest, it has been parked beside our house for 13 years.  It served reliably as mountain and muddy road vehicle, then tow car and finally as commute-to-university car for S.  About six months ago it began to have problems that were no longer cost-effective to repair and was parked, permanently it seemed, after S bought a low-cost used car to replace it.   After several tickets for being in the street-sweepting zone on the fourth Thursday of the month, S asked us what he could do with it as It had a flat tire and could not be driven more than a block.  I suggested Cars For Charity. Last week S told us that he had arranged for it to be picked up.  Yesterday the Baby Bronco was hauled away.

We are not ones to become attached to our transportation vehicles.   The 1991 Acura and 2001 Jeep Liberty we drive are not prima dona vehicles.  They are methods to arrive at places we need to go.  That said, the Bronco II has appeared in 13 years of photos and "remember-when" stories and as I saw the tow-truck pull away, many of them darted through my mind. 

The same night that S told me he was giving up the Bronco, he said that since he now has a permanent work permit and a good job, he will be moving to his own place by the end of September.  He moved into our house on Thanksgiving Day of 1994 (while he was a beginning student of English), and now 11 years later he has graduated from Colorado University with BFA in film-making,  has a great job with a media company and is leaving "home" to make his own way.  We have joked that we will never be empty-nesters as we'll always have S.  Well, the nest will soon be empty, marking the end of an era:  After hosting over 400 foreign adults since 1980, I believe that S will be our last foreign guest. He also holds the record for the longest stay. We love him and will see him often as he too is part of our photos and memories--and a very real part of our family.

She walks!

This  little gymnast took her first steps today,

and of course I didn't have my camera.  However I do have some photos taken two days ago. We dropped off some things at their house yesterday  and were informed that not 30 minutes before we arrived she had taken her first steps, just 4 days after entering the U.S. and becoming a citizen.  And almost immediately after we arrived, she repeated her accomplishment by walking to each of us.  It was just a few steps and she doesn't quite have balance and reflexes coordinated yet, but she is obviously thrilled with her achievement. She loves to jump and is amazingly flexible.  I love my two grandsons dearly but they are so far away that I missed out of so many of their "daily" accomplishments.  I love being the local grandma.

Another photo of our sweet grand-daughter

She's home!

Uncle and grandpa on Mom's side.  Clio loves the balloons.

They arrived surprisingly alert to have been in airports and on airplanes for the better part of 24 hours.  Clio didn't seem afraid of all the strangers at the airport to meet her.  She is extremely social and engaging.  Uncle Wade drove their car, with the car seat already installed, to the airport so that Clio took her first of many jaunts in her own car seat.  She did not so much as whimper until they carried her through the door and she came face to face with the other residents of the house--three dogs and a cat.  She wasn't too pleased by the animal part of the family and gave in to fatigue.  She took a bottle and went immediately to sleep.  As all three were 14 hours off of Denver time, we left them to recover from sleep deprivation and went home content that our sweet Clio, now an official U.S. citizen,  spent her first night in her crib in her private bedroom.  Accustomed to sleeping in a room with 300 babies and for the last 11 days in a hotel room with two adults, this will be  the first time in her ten months of life that she will sleep alone in a room by herself. 

The proud Mom and Dad with a clingy Clio Mei.

Tribute Photos

Some people on a list I belong to asked if I would post some photos of my Mom at different ages.  Below are three.

My mom at age 28

The photo above was in her wedding dress when she married my stepdad B.  The photo below was 22 years later after she had married my stepdad SS, the dad of my heart and the only grandfather my children have known.  The couples below are her brother, two sisters and their spouses.

Uncle H, Aunt M, SS and Mom, Aunt M, Uncle D, Aunt D, Uncle F

Our family at the grandparents cabin in 1982.

Note:  My  12-year-old identical twins were trying to establish separate identities.

Tribute

My Mother's Roses

My mother passed away on Mother's Day, May 8.  I have been back home for 4 days and just can't seem to get past the grieving and into blogging.  Today as a new start and hopefully some catharsis I will include a tribute to my Mom who was 87 years and 9 months old when she died.

Courageous Survivor, Enthusiastic Leader and Eternal Optimist

She survived!

She survived the death of her mother when she was five, leaving four children under the age of 7.

She survived being raised by reluctant and weary grandparents who had already raised 10 children of their own.

She survived The Great Depression during her teenage years, collecting gum wrappers to scrape off the foil to sell by the ounce.

She survived being on her own at age 14, working as a "mother's helper" caring for five children in exchange for room, board and a little pocket money while she attended high school making grades good enough to become the class Salutatorian and win a two-year scholarship to Tucumcari Junior College.

She survived losing a still-born first daughter and then when I was two, being a single mother for two years at a time when jobs for women were scarce and paid very little.

She survived losing her only son in Vietnam when the plane he was piloting was shot down.

She survived nine years working with her husband BW on a SE Colorado dirt farm, living 20 miles from the nearest town and 5 miles from the nearest neighbor, carrying water uphill from a spring, doing without electricity or plumbing and cooking for harvest crews on a wood stove.  After three years they moved to the nearest town during the school year and only lived on the ranch during summers and harvest time.

She worked hard!

My Mom was a full-time housewife and mother until 1954. While B stayed in Colorado to finish the harvest and find a buyer for the ranch, she with B Jr. and I, moved to Amarillo Texas, rented a small house and leased a plate lunch diner called the Viaduct Cafe--which she managed alone for 1 and 1/2 years. When the ranch sold, they eventually bought the diner and managed it together until 1962 when they sold it and moved to T. or C. for B's health.

When B died, she sought refuge in her church work and through continuing the Community Sing she started in their home in 1962. Under her leadership it continues even today--43 years later--every Monday night in the church she attended.

Through the Sing she had met SS and in December 1966 they were married in the parsonage of their church and would have celebrated their 39th anniversary in December of 2005. Together they were the grandparents of my three sons and great-grandparents to two boys. A great-grandaughter is on the way but didn't get here in time for them to meet.

Despite the sorrows and hardships in her life, she lived with a positive and optimistic outlook. She was a "can-do" person who believed that, "Where there is a will, there is a way." When something needed to be done, she found a way to get it done, often by doing it herself. When a 4-H leader, Scout Leader, Fundraising Chairperson or Superintendent of Sunday Schools was needed, she volunteered. When someone needed her, she was always there for them, yet she was almost obsessed with not being a burden to anyone else. 

She often parented her children by aphorism, some of which are:

"Where there is a will, there is a way."

"If at first you don't succeed, try and try again."

Do what you do with all your might; things done by halves are never done right..

"You ask too many questions. Can't t you just leave well-enough alone?"

" Look on the bright side ."

"There's some good in every person. Look for it."

"Trust, once lost, is difficult to regain."

"People only know you by what you teach them about yourself."

"Character is who you are when no one is watching."

"Love isn't love until you give it away."

"Love people. Use things. And never confuse the two."

Smiles and Fears!

First the smiles: 

My son and daughter-in-law left on a plane this morning bound for China to bring home their lovely daughter Clio Mei who was 9 months old in this photo taken April 6.  She will be 10 months old tomorrow.  The entire process will take just over two weeks.  We can hardly wait until we can give some grandparent-love to this little darling.

Now the fears:

My 87-year-old Mom, in this photo taken last May when they were 86 and 88 respectively, is in the hospital with pneumonia for the third time since November.  My dad called saying she might not make it.  We packed our suitcases, gassed up the car and prepared to leave the next morning on the 12-hour drive--no airports near (about 3 hours) and only one flight per day, so it is easier to drive and have our own car.  My dad called today and said she is improving and he doesn't want us to come just yet. I talked to the Doctor and she agreed.  I also talked briefly with Mom though her mind is a bit befuddled from the drugs.  Each time she has a sinker we prepare for the worst and somehow she pulls through.  We are hoping this is yet another recovery, knowing full well that one time it won't be.  It has been very difficult for me as I am the only child now living and my Mom is the last of her siblings.  I have put all my activities on a "wait-and--see" basis so it seems I am planning by the second-hand on my watch when I normally have a multi-year calendar.  We are optimistic--but we are keeping our suitcases packed for now.

And now there are three

Clio Mei at six months

Today my son and daughter-ini-law received a photo of Mei Mei, her Chinese name, along with information about her and the documents needed to travel to China to bring her back as a US citizen.  We are all so excited to meet her in person.  She, our first granddaughter, along with our grandsons, pictured below, makes three.

Haidyn and Preston, our two grandsons

Feelings--a week's worth!

Photographing the sky kept me from thinking unwanted thoughts.

A week ago Bob met me as I was leaving my watercolor figure class to say we had to leave as soon as possible to make the 12-hour drive if we wanted to see my Mom again.  She had been admitted to the hospital with pneumonia and kidney failure and was not expected to live. 

During this past week my feelings have run the gamut from dread, grief, anticipated loss, momentary optimism as color returned and oxygen levels rose, heartbreak as the frail heart struggled to maintain vitality and rapt attention each time a nurse or Doctor took her "vitals."

As I sat by her bed, life memories danced around the hospital room alternating with the black thoughts of endings and finality cowering in the shadows.

I felt temporary elation as her frail body recovered enough to leave the hospital but not enough to go home with my nearly 90-year old father--only enough to be moved to the "nursing home". 

Generally I hate euphemisms but this is definitely an instance where I believe they are appropriate.  The very mention of nursing home by the Doctor pushed all the fear buttons Mom's unpredictable reasoning powers could grab onto.  Fortunately, 24 hours later her short-term memory and a few pain-killers had wiped her slate clean of the fearful words and she is now being informed that she has recovered sufficiently to be transferred to the Sierra Health Center (its actual name).

As the only child, having lost a brother in Vietnam, I have long dreaded this very occurance but now find a kind of relief in knowing that her condition will be monitored and if necessary--and possible--will be treated promptly.  I know she will be well cared for, challenged to the extent that her physical and mental capacity will allow and given her medications in the proper amount and at the proper time.

Though not completely worry free I am much more relaxed than I have been for over a week.

The family is larger today.

The newest member of the family.

We will be making a trip soon to personally welcome our second grandson.

Mock Wedding, Real party.

G's friends decided that the couple needed a ceremony in Brazil.

The primary reason for our trip was to meet G's family and friends and celebrate the marriage with them in Brazil. The party occurred in a delightful setting, a formerly abandoned country home which now is rented out for just such occasions.

The party invitations stated the beginning time as 9:00 p.m. so the family members arrived at 8:30 p.m. just in case someone showed up "on time," though G predicted that the first guests would arrive around 10:00. She was right. The first non-family guests arrived at 9:50 and by 10:15 all 80 guests were seated at the 10 decorated tables in the gardens facing the elevated patio which would become the stage for the band. As guests arrived orders were taken for beer, Caiperinhas, Caiperoskas. sodas or mineral water. Promptly at 10:30 the recorded music began and the caterer began serving the Churasgo (spit-roasted loin of beef, sausages, chicken breast, and the delicacy:chicken hearts. The spits were carried by servers and sliced onto a community plate at each table: no vegetables, rice or other accompaniments--just meat and drinks. Only at 2:30 in the morning did the band take its only break--following 3 hours of music-- while other food was served: several types of rice, a crunchy farofa with bacon, and some green cale-like salad. After everyone had filed by the food table--set up just behind the band--the table was removed and the band began to play for another hour and a half.

A memorable party and an occasion to experience celebrating Teresina style.

The Party Band

Wedding Day!

The entire family on W & G's wedding day (photo courtesy of Paula H)

What a perfect day filled with love, emotion, joy, laughter, tears, music from two countries, dancing and celebrating. Family reunions, renewals of old friendships and introductions of spouses and children--all brought together because of W & G.

Tomorrow the happy couple leaves for Brazil. Four days later we will follow for the Brazilian celebration. Now most of my energy is concentrated on what to pack, but I am light-hearted and grateful that all my sons have found such wonderful wives to share their lives.

Construction Delayed!

My husband Bob builds scale model ships. His current project is the Cutty Sark. He has been working 2 to 3 hours a day for over four months and he estimates he is about half finished. I am in awe at the patience he has for each tiny detail. Each day I check in for a progress report, at least I did until Saturday.

Bob is also a life-long distance runner. He has completed 11 marathons including the 1981 Boston Marathon but now at age 65 he only runs half marathons and with the Old Birds Running Team in the Decelle Memorial Relays at Lake Tahoe each June. He has been training since January and is currently up to 1 hour 30 minutes of running. On Saturday afternoon he went out for a training run and about two miles from home he turned onto a paved street, stubbed his toe on a patch of uneven paving and fell hard onto his right hand, dislocating one finger and spraining another (he thought). This morning his hand was so swollen it seemed like a glove that had been blown up until there was no space between the fingers. He went to the doctor and two hours later returned with a temporary cast to just below the elbow and the news that he had broken his pinky finger. For now the shipwright is on disability leave and the runner can't run again until the swelling goes down and he has his permanent cast.

This also means that when we leave on Wednesday morning to drive 12 hours to my parents' house, I will be doing the bulk of the driving.

Mexico, here we come!

This picture was taken of Bob last June when we were at Kailuum II near Playa del Carmen. We spent time around the pool watching and playing with our grandson. This time we plan to spend more time snorkeling and exploring the Mayan Riviera.

The blog will be silent for five days. I'll be back with more pictures and stories then.

Hasta entonces!

Christmas Guests

Christmas dinner just before eating. Guests: Paula and Dave, Paula's sister Lori, Debby, Bob, Gisela, Wade, Dane and Jeannene. The photo was taken by our camera-shy 9-year houseguest Satoru Kitagawa. It was a lovely day with the sun shining and no snow anywhere except on the mountains to the West. We may have a dusting of snow for New Year's Day, but then maybe not.

A Robert Burns Christmas

The best-laid plans o' mice an' men
Gang aft a-gley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain
For promised joy.
"To a Mouse" by Scottish poet Robert Burns (1759-1796)

Actually no grief or pain, but a bit of panic and uncertainty before some quick thinking and ingenuity by my sons saved the day/turkey. The brining had gone beautifully--not complicated or messy or any of what I anticipated. I had planned to put in the turkey at 2:00 p.m., allow 3 hours for cooking an 18 lb. bird and a half hour of "resting" the turkey before carving and the meal to begin around 6:00 p.m. At 1:45 I turned on the oven and the pre-heating began. At 2:00 the bird was roasting. Thirty minutes later when I went to reduce the heat and cover the turkey, I was surprised that the oven--and the turkey--still felt cool. I reset the pre-heat and it came right on but afterwards the oven once again failed to work. I panicked and called a family meeting, scenes from the movie "Pieces of April" flashing through my mind. I had not planned an "alternate destination" for my turkey. My sons asked if our grill had enough gas for us to grill the turkey. I had my doubts but the Webber came through. With a little monitoring of the temperature gauge and an hourly check on the turkey-embedded thermometer, we managed a moist golden turkey, carved and served, at 7:30 p.m. just one and a half hours and three bottles of wine beyond what I had planned.

We all enjoyed conversation, celebrating togetherness and checking out our new gifts with the final result of achieving "promised joy."

Under water Haidyn!

Today I sent off our Christmas gifts to son Cory, his wife Jennie and our dear grandson Haidyn. I have been very restrained here: I have not yet posted a grandson photo. It is snowy here and my thoughts turned to June and Haidyn in the pool with his parents and Uncle Wade, learning go under water and blow bubbles through his nose. He was just two years and 3 months old and totally trusted that if his parents said it was OK and fun, it would be. His Mom took the photo while Dad tossed him up slightly and caught him just under the water as he and uncle blew bubbles back at him.

O Tannenbaum!

The Tree is Up! Now it feels like Christmas! Somehow until the 40-some years of "special" ornaments are dangling from tree branches and infusing me with memories of Christmases past, the season hasn't yet arrived for me. Some of the traditions of my childhood have morphed into different types of celebrations. For example, I no longer send Christmas cards. I have too many friends from different cultural and religious backgrounds that there simply is no "one-size-fits-all" greeting that I'd consider sending to everyone. So instead I usually send an end-of-the-year letter or a Happy New Year greeting--by email. For the few people on my list that do not have email, I print off the letter and send hard copies by regular mail.

Another tradition that has changed are the foods associated with the season: I no longer make fudge, divinity, rum balls or even the sugar-rich but oh-so-tasty krumkake, sanbakkelse and futtiman from Bob's Norwegian tradition. Age and health concerns make that kind of food consumption unwise. The dressing, if we have one, does not include the turkey "grease," 10 raw eggs or ground sausage that was customarily served by my mother and her two sisters. We still mash potatoes--with no sour cream or butter--but with herbs and broth. The sweet potatoes are baked with crushed pineapple, apples and cinnamon rather than brown sugar and marshmallows. Instead of canned cranberry sauce I make a raw cranberry, orange and pecan relish. Though we choose our food extravagances carefully, there are some we simply haven't had the heart to omit from the menu (pecan and pumpkin pie with whipped cream). In fact, we justify their inclusion by the healthy modifications listed above. Even with the changes we still finish the Christmas dinner with an over-full feeling and the appropriate amount of guilt. And someone always mentions the too-many starving children in the world, just to keep our conspicuous gluttony in perspective.

The Engaged Ones

My son Wade and Gisela became engaged November 2, 2003. They have been waiting for some documents to go through the system and be signed in Brazil. They just received word: The papers are signed-- and will soon be on their way to Denver, clearing the way for them to begin making wedding plans in earnest. We are so happy for them--and for us. I am so fortunate to already have two wonderful daughters-in-law and Gisela will make a wonderful addition.